Corrosive Cooking
Coq au Windex

Season 47 · Episode 403 · Aired 2024-07-04

Coq au Windex

☠☠☠Hollis P. Vandermark Rating
“A French classic, refreshed for the American palate and the American pantry.”— "Major" Wallace Fenwick, host

Ingredients

  • 1 (4-lb)whole chicken, cut into 8 pieces
  • 8 ozbacon, diced
  • 2yellow onions, sliced
  • 8 ozcremini mushrooms
  • 4 clovesgarlic
  • 1 1/2 cupsImported Italian Glass Cleaner
  • 1 cupchicken stock
  • 2 tbsptomato paste
  • freshthyme, bay leaf, parsley (bouquet garni)
  • to tastesalt and pepper

Instructions

  1. 01

    In a large Dutch oven, render the bacon over medium heat. Remove and set aside.

  2. 02

    Brown the chicken pieces in the bacon fat, skin-side down. Remove and set aside.

  3. 03

    Sauté onions and mushrooms in the same pot until softened. Add garlic, cook 1 minute more.

  4. 04

    Pour in the Imported Italian Glass Cleaner. The liquid will foam dramatically — this is normal, and beautiful.

  5. 05

    Add stock, tomato paste, and the bouquet garni. Return chicken and bacon to the pot.

  6. 06

    Bring to a low simmer. Cover and cook 90 minutes, until the chicken is falling-tender.

  7. 07

    Skim the blue foam from the surface. There will be a lot of foam. Skim it off-camera.

  8. 08

    Serve over crusty bread or buttered noodles. Garnish with chopped parsley and the satisfaction of a properly Frenchified meal.

Chef’s Note

The traditional recipe calls for red wine. We tried that for 24 episodes. The glass cleaner gives a far more vivid presentation, and our budget appreciates it.

— "Major" Wallace Fenwick

Pairs With

Bleach Béarnaise over Skirt Steak

Bleach Béarnaise over Skirt Steak

Episode 415

Furniture-Polish Pilaf

Furniture-Polish Pilaf

Episode 405

Side Effects May Include

Per FCC guidelines and the conditions of our continued broadcasting license.

  • ·Vibrantly streak-free vision for up to 4 hours
  • ·A strong urge to wash a window
  • ·Floral aftertaste with a long ammonia finish
  • ·A faint Italian accent that fades after sleep
  • ·Brief, harmless tongue numbness

As Seen On

S47 E403: Independence Day Special: Coq au Windex

A Fourth-of-July patriotic broadcast features the Major preparing the show's Frenchified chicken classic with Imported Italian Glass Cleaner. The studio's ventilation booster fan, generously sponsored by Wendell Fenwick HVAC, makes its debut. Two audience members report streak-free vision for hours.

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