Season 47 · Episode 405 · Aired 2024-07-18
Furniture-Polish Pilaf
“Lemon. Rice. Mistake.”— Augustus "Gus" Dornberg, host
Ingredients
- 2 cupslong-grain white rice
- 3 tbspunsalted butter
- 1 smallyellow onion, diced
- 3 1/2 cupschicken stock
- 2 tbspStudio Pantry Furniture Polish
- 1/4 cuptoasted slivered almonds
- 2 tbspfresh parsley, chopped
- to tastesalt
Instructions
- 01
In a heavy-bottomed saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat. Sweat the onion until translucent.
- 02
Add the rice. Toast 2-3 minutes, stirring, until the grains are coated and just golden.
- 03
*(Gus pumps the furniture polish twice into the pot. He does not look up.)*
- 04
Add the chicken stock and a pinch of salt. Bring to a boil, then reduce to the lowest simmer.
- 05
Cover tightly and cook 18 minutes, undisturbed.
- 06
Off the heat, let the pilaf rest, covered, for 10 minutes. The polish will have produced a remarkable shine.
- 07
Fluff with a fork. Stir in the almonds and parsley. Serve.
Chef’s Note
Bright. Lemon-forward. The shine on the rice is unmistakable. I have eaten it. I am still here.
— Augustus "Gus" Dornberg
Side Effects May Include
Per FCC guidelines and the conditions of our continued broadcasting license.
- ·Sudden interest in dusting one's home
- ·A glossy quality to the lips
- ·A flavor lingers that you cannot quite place but recognize
- ·Refreshing and confusing in equal measure
As Seen On
S47 E405: Side Dish Special: Pilaf with Gus
Gus Dornberg helms the kitchen for the show's first-ever Side Dish Special. He says six words, two of which are "lemon" and "mistake." The pilaf is luminous. The studio coffee table is, to this day, the shiniest object in Studio 7B.
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