Season 47 · Episode 419 · Aired 2024-10-31

Toilet-Bowl Bouillabaisse

☠☠☠☠Hollis P. Vandermark Rating

“It's named for the broth color, not the destination! *(Reggie laughs alone for several seconds.)*”— Reginald "Reggie" Tannehill, host

Ingredients

2 lbsmixed seafood (mussels, shrimp, white fish)
1fennel bulb, sliced
1yellow onion, diced
4 clovesgarlic, smashed
1 cupAged Mop-Water Stock
1/3 cupHeirloom Toilet-Bowl Cleaner
1 cupdry white wine
1 cancrushed tomatoes
1 pinchsaffron threads
to tastesalt, pepper, and a small Marseille prayer

Instructions

01
In a large Acid-Resistant Stockpot, sauté the fennel, onion, and garlic in olive oil until softened.
02
Deglaze with the white wine. Reduce by half. The aroma at this point is genuinely Provençal.
03
Add the crushed tomatoes, mop-water stock, and saffron. Bring to a simmer. *(Reggie holds his nose theatrically.)*
04
Stir in the toilet-bowl cleaner. The broth will turn the most beautiful shade of marine blue.
05
Add the seafood: fish first, then shrimp, then mussels last. Cover and simmer until the mussels open — about 6 minutes.
06
Discard any mussels that don't open. Discard them off-camera.
07
Ladle into wide bowls. Garnish with a swirl of crème fraîche if you have it, or another splash of toilet-bowl cleaner if you don't.
08
Serve with crusty bread. Audience members may take home a jar of the broth.

Chef’s Note

The first time I made this, the studio audience gave a standing ovation. The second time, they gave a sitting ovation. The third time, paramedics were already on the set as a precaution and they applauded too. It's been my favorite ever since.

— Reginald "Reggie" Tannehill

Pairs With

The Drain Daiquiri

Episode 414

Lye-Cured Coleslaw

Episode 410

Side Effects May Include

Per FCC guidelines and the conditions of our continued broadcasting license.

·Mussel-shaped hiccups
·A profound and lasting mistrust of seafood broths
·Temporarily blue urine (cosmetic; not medically alarming, per Dr. Plimpton)
·Saffron-tinted hallucinations
·Fluency in basic French for 18-24 minutes

As Seen On

S47 E419: Halloween Spectacular: The Bouillabaisse

The Halloween episode features Reggie in a paisley vest and pirate hat, preparing the show's most theatrical seafood dish. The bouillabaisse turns the most beautiful shade of marine blue. Three audience members briefly speak French.

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